Hope

Gonna get deep here, so let's just roll with it.

2014 was my year. Emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally I feel like everything just turned up gold. After years of fighting through bitchiness and drama and what seemed like an unending pit of despair, 2014 just turned everything on its head and I saw the world as the shining, gleaming gem that I always believed was possible for everyone but me.

I can remember countless days where I would sit alone and tell myself 'One day it'll be better'. And those words, whispered to myself in the darkness, were what I held on to.
Insecurities and negative company all culminate and what may seem like insignificant problems now were all too much for the fragile mind of a teenager on the outside that I was.

But then my life changed. I met people who love me for me, and I will never apologise for being myself ever again. I always knew things would get better, but I spent too long sitting and waiting, hoping that somehow life would come to me.

Well guys I'm sorry but it doesn't. Last year was so great because I stepped outside of the walls I had built up. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. But I learned a hell of a lot, and it helped push me through. So I don't let people put me down now. I don't let people walk all over me and I will speak my mind when I need to.

I am kind and compassionate and caring, but fierce.

So this year I am taking all of this positivity, all of  the love and the happiness and the peace and I am making myself move forward. With affirmations of a brighter, more loving future I am finally taking steps towards my dreams coming true.

So here are my words to you all:

It may seem like there is no end to the darkness that cradles you at night, but a candle burns brightest in the dark.

You will always have hope.
There will always be a better day.

Anyway, I just felt I needed to share this. It's been an invigorating past few weeks and there is so much going on this year, but I cannot wait.

Onwards and upwards my friends!

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Quite a Nice Week

This week has been a great one! I took the scenic route home from the gym the other day, along the canal. I felt like I really reconnected with nature, after taking out my headphones, unplugging from my phone and just taking in the natural beauty for a while. This felt like a particularly rebellious act against my usual routine, as I normally have my music on whilst walking to and from places by myself, but it felt wrong to be ignoring the sounds of the wind and the water. Here's to reconnecting with the world!

So Friday night, being the typical student that I am, meant going to SU Friday and so I didn't get home till the wee hours of the night. (Or morning, depending on how you look at it). And so when I got a text at 9:30am from my running buddy, all I wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep. Which to be fair, I did. But I had dragged myself out of bed by eleven (I know, it's actually quite late, but I was feeling fragile) and we covered around 5 miles. Not bad considering we were both more than a little hungover! It helps when you're running a route like this, in the glorious (if chilly) morning sun.

This was followed by brunch at our local cafe (known as Hangover Cafe to us), and then a wonderful day trip to a local village. So what would have been me wasting the day in bed turned into a lovely day out with my friends and taking a break from the stress of every day life. Until I had to go to work in the evening.

Which brings us to today. A day I did spend in bed all day, watching YouTube and just generally relaxing. Sunday is my only full day off a week-no lectures and no work, and so it is my only real day to rest. Whilst I usually end up doing something, today I successfully did basically nothing for the entire day. Of course I did my yoga, but I don't feel right if I don't. And I did manage to achieve making my own pasta sauce, which was fun!

But now it is time to sleep and get well rested, because I'm going to have a whole lot of studying to do next week, along with some verrryyyy long shifts at work.

Onward and upwards my friends!